


Hollow

by WishingSebastianStanwasmyman



Series: Oneshots, miniseries and drabbles collection [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dissociation, Drabble, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Introspection, Loss of Innocence, M/M, POV Eren Yeager, Promises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 18:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4886347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingSebastianStanwasmyman/pseuds/WishingSebastianStanwasmyman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hollow: (adj.) 1. Having a hole or empty space inside. 2. without significance.</p><p>Eren does not cry, because his tears have ran dry. He has no more left to give. He was an overflowing well once, but he has since then run dry. This cruel world has taken so much from him- his mother, his freedom, his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> For added tears I suggest listening to Vogel Im Kafig.
> 
> A drabble I posted on tumblr that I thought deserved it's own little space.

Eren does not cry when Jean dies. He doesn’t shed a tear when Sasha, Historia, Connie and the rest of the 104th soon follow. He doesn’t cry when he kills Annie, Reiner and Bertolt, even as their blood stains his hands. Eren stares blankly at Erwin and Hange’s twisted corpses. He can only watch after his friends fall one after the other, like autumn leaves in the breeze. And their lives were every bit as fragile, they were beautiful hues of gold, red and brown only to end up on the ground crunched beneath a boot.

Eren does not cry, because his tears have ran dry. He has no more left to give. He was an overflowing well once, but he has since then run dry. This cruel world has taken so much from him- his mother, his freedom, his friends.

He loses Armin in the early light of morning. Then, Mikasa in the gloom of night. Their deaths shake Eren to his core but he cannot cry. He tries, but he cannot will the tears to come. He thinks perhaps that he truly is a monster despite Levi’s protests.

After all, what kind of person is unable to even morn the loss of loved ones?

He looses Levi in the final battle with the Ape Titan. Eren is silent. He does not cry nor scream. He doesn’t even feel. He just destroys, destroys the creature that caused so much pain and destruction. The creature that stole his last bit of happiness in this dark world.

Eren saves humanity. He and his long gone friends and lover are praised. They are sung about for years, muses for artwork- sculptures, paintings, art of all kinds.

Eren still cannot feel. Sometimes, he looks at himself in the mirror and after meeting the sunken in eyes that have long lost the shine he had in his adolescence, he wonders why he had to be the last one left. There are times where he feels as though his body is not his own, a feeling of floating. A feeling that he is no longer even Eren.

He just exists in the hollow shell of himself that had once shone so brightly, brighter than the stars above Levi had whispered against his skin as he adorned it with the gentlest of kisses that had set Eren’s heart aflutter and his skin aflame with the craving to just be with this beautiful man.

Eren hadn’t deserved him or his tender words, gentle kisses or the softened expressions that Levi had reserved only for him. He didn’t deserve any of the friends that he let down.

Eren keeps his promises. He goes to the ocean, feels the warm shifting sand beneath his feet and the cool ocean water lapping at his ankles.

Eren cries.

The tears had been inside him all along and now, they overwhelmed him. His body wracking with violent sobs, his wailing and screaming disrupting the calm air as he beseeches whatever high powers existed and curses fate, his own destiny, his choices. He is not Eren anymore. He is regret, guilt, anger and tears. 

He thinks back to all the times, he spoke of seeing the ocean with Armin and others.

He never once thought he’d see it alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated ! Xxxx


End file.
